I leave those ones, go to my room to enjoy my money. Honestly, what is doing us? If I wanted just any rice, I would have gone for Ajani’s concoction now! Even if he won’t add “animal”, my friend will prepare correct concoction Jollof. Well, I have done this already, it is another one that I will not do!  Wait, I still have ticket o…okay, it is the one after the next one that I will not do; let’s just pray I don’t get it renewed. If I kuku try to collect my money with the ticket without buying anything, they’ll continue to tell me there is no change.

I seriously need to finish this food before going anywhere because when I come back, there must be at least one of the two visitors; ant or rat. What can I do? Rats that will narrate how ABH was built to me…are they now the ones you say I will evict? They can reach anywhere..as in, anywhere! Just as we finished with the bugs, it is now ants and rats and cockroaches that are taking over. As they are playing their own indoor games, cats and Pouch rats and chickens are also enjoying themselves outside. Those chickens have even come of age, if not for fear of God…sorry, fear of SDC!

Now I have another problem, my cloth is torn and this is the cloth I plan to wear out. Do I even have many choices? Many of my clothes are dirty, I don’t have money to give the Mamas to help me wash and I don’t have the energy to be jostling between A and G blocks.

Oga Delta tailor, I want to stitch this thing. How much?


I am not understanding… I mean I want to stitch not sow a new one o.

He stops answering!

What a morning I am thinking, then I see the new Unisex tailor as she’s seriously slim fitting those skirts, I feel like “ehn ehn, so this is the fountain of our problems abi?” Where elements of emotional and psychological disturbances patronize shey? Anyways, that is not even my concern now.

            Aunty, I want to stitch this cloth!

            #200 sir!

Your own is even better, but you see, I am not a rich somebody, so let’s discuss on a Mekunu (commoner’s) level. #50, last price! You collect? (She agrees!) Good! I will come back few hours later.

Oga Barber greets me, I should know, I shouldn’t answer. Okay, my head is kuku bushy, let me go and mower it. After the whole show which I also like (the shaping especially), he says #200!

What? Where? How? Something that is #100 in Zik hall?

I shaa give him. Then I go to ABH ventures, use my money to buy toothpaste, as I pass by E block, I remember that I need a toothbrush.

Faff store, how market? How much is brush?

#200, #250, #300!

Wetin abeg? Brush abi you? Wait, how about wisdom?

We have it, it’s #200!

Ehn ehn…you’re doing well! Let me even see it.

(She sees the toothpaste I buy “somewhere else”)… There is no wisdom again!

Ahh…I thought you had “wisdom”, where did it just go now? She says “no wisdom ooo”.

Okay, God will give you “wisdom” o.

I have had enough today, I’m not even buying anything again. At night, after the match I watch at the TV room, one kind of aroma like that is not allowing me to be alright.

 Mallam, how much Suya?

#200, #400!

Mallam, no be gizzard be this? Gizzard too na #200? How much if I dash you the cabbage and onions and you just put Yaji? You fit sell for #150? Aboki refuses!

Wait, do we not buy this gizzard thing for #100 in UI self? Anyway, it only means two things; I will be buying Suya “anniversarilly” and…I’m not giving anybody! Ehn ehn, when the guy put like 5 something inside the paper and 3 people are asking, divide it now…#120 out of 200! If I hear, nobody will chop…except me!

I retire after enjoying the Suya and I say I should close my eyes o, I don’t know where these beats are coming from. It’s not the usual home theatre beats of my neighbors that always give me headache this tim, this one is just like beating local talking drum; one of the disadvantages of living close to the toilet. I stand up to know if it’s a “designer” again, but fortunately for him, he flushes. I sharperly enter my room and start thinking about 85k as I give in to slumber.

                        What a BROWNian life!

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