Akande got up silently as his phone rang.
He peered at his wife, Adaba to confirm that her eyes were firmly shut before rolling out of bed. He tiptoed across the room, peered at Adaba once again at the door, and got out.
His wife, Adaba’s eyes were not firmly shut after all. She tiptoed out of the room quietly after him, muttering to herself, “hah, men are useless. Ìyẹn Akande náà! Áá gbà!”. As she neared the kitchen, she heard Akande whispering.
“I’ve missed you, my love. Hah! I’m ready, totally ready for you. Nothing can stop you and me today.”, he was saying.
She bent down then and took one of her slippers off, readjusting her wrapper like one who was readying for war. When she got to the kitchen, fuming like fire, she found her target sitting….sitting in the kitchen, sweat gushing out of his forehead, his fingers oily and his mouth viciously attacking something. The object of his attack was the beef she had just fried that evening. The beef he had been warned off by his doctor. The beef she had specifically begged him not to eat.
“What do you think you’re doing Akande? Is this what you do every night, you this man?!”, she yelled. Akande suddenly dropped the bone he had just dismantled and just stared like a deer in headlights at her.
“It’s not what you think Adaba...”, he started.
She didn’t let him finish though and started to chase after him with the slippers, her wrapper barely firm on her hips. It would have been a funny sight for anyone who was up by that devilish hour of the day. Two supposed adults chasing each other like hungry chickens without feathers? Wild!
Perhaps if their son, Tobi didn’t sleep like the dead, he would have been the privileged audience to the ruckus displayed. He would also have been annoyed to have his sleep disrupted by what was his parents’ usual display of insanity, as he would have termed it.
No one knows how long their ‘display of insanity’ lasted. All we know is that they woke up wrapped in each other’s arms in the morning, looking like they had just had the most restful night.
Ìyẹn Akande na- Akande too?
Áá gbà- He’ll see( literally)