When I say my heart bleeds,
I do not speak of its pumping function.
I mean my heart feels like it has been stabbed repeatedly with a sharp knife,
But I cannot break open my chest to tend to it,
And so it bleeds…and bleeds.
When I say I wail,
I do not speak of a baby’s cries.
I mean I shed a river of tears, without a sound.
They do not hear so they do not know.
I cannot be comforted,
And so I wail…and wail.
When I say I am in deep sorrow,
I do not speak of mere sadness,
I mean I feel agony tear through every muscle, vessel, nerve in my body.
It is overwhelming but I cannot stop it.
I endure as it wracks through me in repeated waves,
And so I sorrow…and sorrow.
When I say I grieve,
I do not speak as of moirologists.
I mean I am in great distress and affliction, hurting from mind to sole,
As if scorched by an unquenchable fire.
I writhe and run from it but alas, it is one with me.
And so I grieve…and grieve.
My bleeding heart,
My silent wails,
My agonizing sorrow,
My burning grief,
I feel…I feel them all…all at once.