–By Eniola Salaudeen
You met Ugochukwu at a friend’s birthday party. Gosh! His eyes. Those eyes with piercingly dark inner globes that made you want to avoid his gaze but also made you reluctant to look away. Then he smiled at you and you felt yourself freeze. You have always found full lips repulsive, but not his. Not those thick, full lips seated on this strong jaw bone
Skin the golden-brown colour of cocoa, thick lips, full hair-line, strong- looking jaw bones. What kind of perfect beauty is this? you had thought to yourself
‘Hot stuff’ was what he called you that night and you had walked around the party graciously, twisting your hips and flaunting your legs as if a part of you that existed had just been discovered and shown to you by someone. And that was the beginning of what you always felt around Ugochukwu: self love! With him, you felt like one whose imperfections were perfect.
You still remember vividly, the night you told your mother about him. You still remember how your mother, in her dramatic manner, had cleaned her ears with the hem of her clothes, then told you to repeat the name of your boyfriend.
‘Obere Ugochukwu. He is from Anambra state’ you had said in a very low tone, almost a whisper and all hell had let lose.
‘eeeeh. Omo igbo. Omo yi ti pa mi.( igbo boy, this girl has killed me)’ Your mother had screamed at the top of her voice, drawing the attention of your father, who before then had been engrossed in NTA NEWS AT 10.
‘she must be joking. She knows no daughter of mine would marry from a tribe or religion different from ours’. You father had said and dismissed the topic with a wave of hand, as if to him, you were only up to some crazy joke.
And you knew then and there that it was the beginning of your end with Ugochukwu.
But, you would not give up. You had made plans with Ugochukwu and both of you had decided to elope, far from the crazy world, to a world of your own.
But the end finally came when your younger sister got winds of your plans and decided not to keep it to herself. She informed your father who then got your boyfriend arrested on the charges of ‘attempted abduction’. What does that even mean?. You are sure your father must have bribed those policemen because they really made a case out of no-case.
If the shoes were in your legs, if you found yourself heads over heels with someone who isn’t of your tribe and/or religion,
WOULD YOU ALLOW YOUR PARENT’S DECISION INTERFERE WITH YOUR CHOICE?
- A, block A, ABH:
Yes, I would allow my parent’s decision interfere because they know what is best for me. They are more experienced and they know more than I do. It’s better to give in to their wishes because they are still the ones I will go to when problems start to arise.
- Anonymous, block A, ABH
I will convince them and try to make them see reasons but if after all my efforts, they still refuse, I will give in to their demand. I will not marry the person.
- Joe, ABH
Personally, difference in religion is a barrier because religious beliefs are different and this can cause difficulty during decision making in the home. But for difference in tribe, I will marry the person even against my parent’s wish. I will make them see reasons, but if they refuse to give their blessings, I will go ahead regardless.