A GUIDE TO MB WELFARE
It is that time of the year again; MB period. The period when if you are not in the class writing MB, you begin to take stock of how many friends you have in that class and rationalise why you don’t have to get an MB package for Mr X because… well, you and Mr X are not that close, right? Well, no matter how good you are at rationalising, with 2 sets already lined up to write MB and two more fast approaching that scary line, the “How should I welfare these guys?” is a question you will have to answer sooner or later. Fear not though, I have a variety of suggestions to solve that problem depending on your budget. They are:
1 – God Will Do It
Budget – Prayers +/- fasting
The beauty of this care package includes the fact that MB is one such time when people don’t actually mind your religious preference; Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Ogun worshipping, Sango follower, etc. Pretty much any and all prayers are welcome. The idea is that hopefully, at least one of them gets answered. Another great thing about it is that your account balance is spared, yet your well wishes are conveyed just the same. However, the downside is that prayers are not exactly quantifiable. For all the person knows, you have a terrible relationship with the God you serve so I recommend choosing this option prudently, taking into consideration where your audience stands on the matter.
2 – It’s The Thought That Counts
Budget – Cost of sending WhatsApp messages+/- SMS +/- emails
This package comes highly recommended for those who are talented writers. If your strengths lie in stringing words together in a heartfelt manner or penning down motivational speeches, this is an opportunity to shine. You don’t need to wait till the exams are upon us, on the off chance that inspiration deserts you and writer’s block rears its ugly head. Fire up your notes app and start typing up drafts so when the time comes around, all you have to do is copy, paste and send. Nearly everyone can pray, granted to varying levels of effectiveness but not everyone is good at this. Shine, dearest. Touch your MB-writing friends’ hearts and make them forget you did not send food, snacks or beverages.
Bonus points if you dress this up by sending handwritten notes. (Only if you have a beautiful penmanship though. Yes Tomiwa, this upgrade is not for you.)
3 – A+ In Packaging
Budget – N1,000-N2,500
This is for our low budget high fliers. While this might seem like it will not make for a special package, if done right, I can assure you, you will have something sizeable to present. Obviously, considering the budget your eyes should not stray to items like cookies, juice or trusted chocolate brands. Here’s a carefully curated list of what you should be on the lookout for:
- Kemps crackers: Makes for a good snack to munch on during study sessions.
- Coke (1L bottle): Caffeine and it’s big.
- Coffee (sachet roll): Caffeine! They need caffeine intravenously if possible.
- Noreos: Very affordable for those with a sweet-tooth.
- A pack of sweets or tab(s) of chewing gum: Quantity, people. Quantity.
- A paper bag: Packaging is important, of course.
- Questionable borderline cheap chocolate(s): Caffeine and a sugar rush.
4 – Rich Kid
Budget – N3,000-N5,000
It is your money and you are a rich kid. As someone who doesn’t know what that feels like, I cannot tell you what to do with your money. ‘God when’ though. However, it goes without saying that you should look at items like juice, cookies, food from their favourite vendors, candy and reputable chocolate brands since you can of course afford them.
5 – Rich Kid With Only 1 Friend To Welfare
Budget – >N5,000
On behalf of all of us who do not belong in this category, I ask that those in this category kindly decide among yourselves –you can find yourselves through the comments section– on the day you want to send your packages so the rest of us can refrain from sending packages that day. Thanks for understanding.
6 – Significant Other
Budget – He/She/They are the love(s) of my life. No amount is too small.
First off, you signed up for this. Secondly, please share pictures or an inventory of your curated package with the ABH Press so we can all coo at the cuteness. The only
advice rule I have for you about creating this package is that it needs to have a centrepiece. It doesn’t matter much what you get, the recipient is already in love with you, I presume but I cannot afford to be disgraced after this article, so kindly get your hands on an item that will serve as the centre of attraction. I can’t give suggestions as this item will vary from partner to partner and well, you should know them better than I.
I hope I have, in one way or another, positively contributed to your welfare ideas. Before I go on to wait to see how well you have taken notes, I have one last golden nugget to impart; do NOT welfare anybody in advance. Wait until the last moment possible in case ASUU should decide to go another round. Learn from my past mistakes.
PS. You’re welcome.