an ember, a glow slowly went out
silently. alone. oddly. out cold
smouldering ashes, stuffed out dreams
a body became as shadow
we lost something in the wind
it was swift like a professional thief
robbed of happiness, left us with grief
we lost something in the wind
someone we loved
whose smile was a charm
unawares, an eclipse came
this darkness has a name
we lost something in the wind
outstretched, we longed to reach it
but like the memory of a dream
at daybreak, out of our grip, it slipped
a warm heart turned stone cold
no galloping hooves or eerie tunes
just a quiet whistling of the wind
and we lost something in that wind
Being students of a health profession has exposed us to a significant number of deaths on the hospital floor or in the accident and emergency. Nothing prepares you for the first death you experience as a student – not even the cadaveric dissections that made us emotional on the first day. As times goes on, the deaths stop becoming memorable. The loud shouts of relatives on the corridors and corners of the hospital slowly fade and become nothing but background noise. “It has happened again”, you might only mutter to yourself.
No matter how well you have been able to handle losing patients in school, nothing prepares you for your own losses. It comes stealthily when you are least suspecting and never expecting. More so, this particular loss struck close to home.
The overwhelming feeling that you would never get to see someone who always greeted you with that cheek-to-cheek smile that revealed most of their teeth. Someone, you shared a block with. Someone you attended classes with and exchange words on the hall’s corridor, now hollow with grief.
There are a number of truths concerning grief. One is that it is an individual experience. No one can teach anyone how to grieve or say this is the right way to grieve someone. No one can say this is how long it should last. Many times, we may never “get over it” in years. Their favourite memories and things would still strike some chords.
Irrespectively, we must gather ourselves during such times. To deal with the process of grief:
- Acknowledge the pain
- Understand grief triggers unexpected emotions
- Understand that grieving is an individual process and unique to you
- Get support from people that care about your welfare
- Pamper yourself if you have to. Taking physical care of yourself supports your emotion
- Recognise the distinctions between depression and grief.
Here are signs to look out for to differentiate between grief and depression:
- Persistent feeling of despair and emptiness
- Suicidal thoughts and ideation, and preoccupation with thoughts of death
- Inability to carry out regular activities at home or school
- Visual and auditory hallucination
- An intense sense of guilt
- Feeling hopeless or worthless
- Sluggish speech and movement.
Beautiful