Festivities, and their accompanying holidays-especially those at the end of the year- are many people’s favourite time of the year…and understandably so. After several months of hard work, festive periods are usually the times when people get to rest, bond with family members, and recharge for another run at life and its hurdles. In fact, when someone whispers a festive period like Christmas to you, what probably comes to mind are pictures of home-made meals, the aroma of slightly-burnt chocolate cookies, a flurry of calls made and received, and plenty of laughter. These periods are usually filled with various emotions ranging from gratitude, to love and happiness-or at least imagined to be so. However, an emotion that is sometimes forgotten is the overwhelming loneliness that can come with festivities or holidays.
The Numbers
In a survey conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 65% of people said they experienced loneliness during the holidays (mostly from Thanksgiving to New Year’s). In addition to this, 64% of people already diagnosed with one mental health illness or another stated that the holidays worsened their condition. Another study by Statista revealed that 17% of people reported that they feel ‘more lonely’ than usual during festive periods.
Furthermore, a 2017 research by Mind today revealed that 1 in 3 people are too embarrassed to admit to being lonely during Christmas, and 1 in 10 people consider taking their own life because of the festive period (A rather interesting fact, despite these, is that suicides rates actually drop during the holiday seasons at the end of the year. This does not change the importance of how lonely people feel during this period, as it’s impact can last beyond that particular point in time).
What all of these point to is that festive periods are associated with higher rates of loneliness, or sometimes a heightened awareness of how lonely you are.
The Most Beautiful Time of the Year
Many often refer to Christmas as ‘the most beautiful time of the year’, and while this is true for many people, with Christmas being the most celebrated holiday in the world, it is not the case for everyone. The crippling anxiety and loneliness some people feel around this time, and during other festivities makes the supposed beauty obscured to them.
Feelings of loneliness are likelier among certain groups of people, like those living with disabilities, because of the peculiarities of their everyday lives. Those who have lost family members or suffered a major traumatic event, especially around periods of these festivities or holidays are also at higher risks of feeling lonely. Medical professionals are also not left out of this, as they usually have to work during these periods, with little to no time to enjoy the festive periods with family and friends.
And while this is purely an assumption, it can be more common among medical students too. While we’re lucky to get to spend this period with family (thanks to a fumigation exercise), it is not always so. We’re often forced to watch people celebrate this period from afar while running to classes, or reading hard for exams. I mean, folks in the 2k21 BDS class are preparing for exams in this period. All of these, coupled with the feeling of being distant from family can make medical students feel lonely.
The holidays at the end of the year can also be particularly suspect as regards this feeling of loneliness because people often feel like they have not achieved their expectations for the year, along with the comparisons that people oft do at that time of the year. The end of the year is a time for introspection and self-evaluation for most people, and that is not necessarily a happy task.
What to Do
If you are feeling this way, while your experiences are peculiar, you are not alone. The numbers from earlier prove this. In addition, there are a few things you can do to help you dealt with it.
You can try to link up with colleagues or friends around you. This can be things as simple as a phone and video calls, or a well-planned picnic. The goal is to keep in touch and hangout with loved ones. Another option is to volunteer as part of an organization that gives back to the community. This can help you feel like you’re part of something bigger, hence, further helping you feel less lonely.
You should also try to be kind and gentle with yourself. Whatever unmet expectations you have, or had, remember that you have another chance to meet those goals. However, if these feelings of loneliness become overwhelming, you should seek professional help from a Psychiatrist.
Finally, I guess what matters, is that we should remember to be kind during festivities. Beyond being a wake-up call to the realities of some people, it is a reminder of what many of these festive periods stand for – kindness, love, togetherness, and family. So be kind to the persons you can be kind to, and show love to as many people as you can. And if you’re feeling particularly lonely right now, remember that you’re loved. And please reach out, or seek help if those feelings become unbearable.
Thanks for telling it like it is, Rachel. Loneliness or pain is especially acute during the festive period. Reaching out and being reached out to makes a whole lot of difference.
Merry Christmas! Cheers to giving and receiving kindness.
I totally agree with you. Thank you, Priscilla. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance. I hope that you will receive even more kindness than you give.