A FINAL ESCAPE?
If only this incessant beep would stop, don’t get me wrong, it’s not loud enough to be disturbing, neither is it close enough, but something about it just feels ominous.
Then there are the irritating sounds as of water droplet, even closer, this is. Something feels really weird and so wrong. It feels like staring into a pit, or maybe a vacuum, or maybe just hot space, if something like that exists.
“Uhm, can I have water?” I timidly asked the kind-faced nursed staring at me.
“Can I have water?” This time, I screamed angrily, there’s only so much ignoring a lady can take.
Arrgghhhh, the echoes of my screams slap at me. It was almost like waging a war against myself, it’s almost as though there is an unspoken agreement by everyone to ignore me.
“Well, this is the perfect time to make that graceful exit,” I thought to myself as I went back to sleep “this is my time to get it right” Suddenly, I find myself inside a maze, I have never been a fan of those but I did like puzzles, this shouldn’t be any different. Swiftly, I picked up my pace, time was of the essence and I had to be out of this in the wink of an eye. Closer, closer and closer, I got but still, there was no end in sight. I felt lost in the maze. “Let me out!!” I screamed over and over again but really, there were no doors
Amidst blazing fear and pain, I began clawing at the walls and screaming at the top of my voice, I hear footsteps approaching, finally, I let out a breath of relief. My relief was short-lived as the face to whom the footsteps belonged appeared, it was like looking at myself in the mirror. Suddenly, the atmosphere became eery and I grew goosebumps, many things were wrong, all at once.
Then, there were still those beeps that won’t stop, only this time, they were louder and closer. Loud enough to bring me to wakefulness, slowly I felt my lids give way to very bright light and the smiling face of the same nurse.
I looked around frantically, trying to make sense of my environment and condition, the first thing I noticed was my inability to reach out or freely move my legs.
“Why would you restrain a patient?” I screamed angrily, “Why? Why? Why?” I screamed continuously. My mom rushed to my bedside, trying to calm me down, only then did I see the pitiful expression on her face and the silent tears streaking down her cheeks.
I could see the nurses shaking their heads while my friend kept staring at everything but me.
My memories came rushing like a flood let loose, the cuts on my hands suddenly made sense, so did the old scars beneath the cuts.
This wasn’t the first time, neither was it the second. It was just, one of many failed attempts at this thing called escape. Apparently, I was the “good for nothing silly girl” they all claimed I was. I couldn’t even get one thing right.
“I want out” I whispered to my mum amidst tears, “I just want out”.