– Tobi Olusakin, ABH Press
Disclaimer: The contents of this article are not scientifically based. They are just end products of my biases, therefore you may or may not find them appealing.
Before I dive fully into this, I want to let you know that this is a light hearted and trivial article aimed at putting a smile on your face, it not a self help or motivational piece (I am not really into that).
Every human (and alien, I am a conspiracy theorist) has something within that makes him/her/??? different, this is why stereotypes aren’t always accurate.
In this little time we have to ourselves, I’m going to be bringing up certain scenarios that are easily overlooked, and I’ll be giving my own interpretations of what each says about the person who carries them out.
What kind of person are you?
SLICED BREAD OR NON SLICED BREAD
When buying bread (if you don’t eat bread, move to the next subheading please), what kind do you end up picking? Sliced bread or non sliced bread? If you are the kind of person that picks sliced bread, I’m here to tell you that you are probably a slightly proud person that doesn’t like to be stressed, a “bourgeois” person at his/her finest. You also probably have a mild version of obsessive compulsive personality disorder. If you are the kind of person that buys non sliced bread, just so that you can “fetch” it while eating, I just hope you know that that’s probably a campus cultism signature somewhere.
There is a third subset that includes those who buy non sliced bread but end up slicing it before eating; if you are in this group, you need to see a shrink, there are probably some deep issues you need to confront.
Who are you? The bougie person that feels better than his/her “non sliced bread” counterparts, the closeted gangbanger or the confused one.
MOVIE OR BOOK
“Movies are really just a lazy person’s guide to stories. It involves no imagination on the part of the viewer. There is no mental picture thus no work of the brain than simply absorbing visual data.”
In my opinion, that statement (made by a conceited book reader) is quite harsh, but our sentiments shouldn’t make us ignore the truth in it.
There’s a stereotype which postulates that exclusive book readers are smarter than their movie counterparts. How true is this?
In almost every Harry Potter discussion, those who have read the book give those who only watched the movie this friendly “you can never be better than me” look. That might be due to the fact that Hollywood tends to distort a lot of book storylines when making movie adaptations in order to make commercial success, and also because book lovers see exclusive movie lovers as beings who lack discipline and love taking the easy way out.
I don’t blame those who prefer movies to books though, it’s a less stressful experience without incessant dictionary checks, but I have to admit, reading books just imparts something magical to the reader.
So, which one are you? The person who likes to let his/her imagination build the characters up into what they want them to be or the person who loves to watch the hard work of others.
SOCK SOCK SHOE SHOE OR SOCK SHOE SOCK SHOE
I’m sure you must be thinking, “What on God’s earth does this title mean?” Let me make it clear. When you are getting ready to go out, how do you wear your socks and shoes? Do you wear both socks before wearing both shoes (sock sock shoe shoe) or do you wear a sock and a shoe on one foot before proceeding to the other (sock shoe sock shoe)?
I was astonished to hear that some beings I converse with daily do the second routine. I was disappointed and surprised, I know that it is human to err but this just takes the cake. The lowest of lows.
Why? Why? Why? Why would you do that?
Let’s assume you’re a “sock shoe sock shoe” person who’s preparing to go out for the day, then you hear a knock on the door of your hostel room and the person responsible for that minor disturbance turns out to be your friend, he then proceeds to tell you that your attention is needed very urgently outside. As a diligent person, you decide to attend to that issue immediately but you are only halfway in your despicable sock shoe sock shoe routine. What will you wear on the other foot? A bathroom slippers? Now let’s imagine that you’re formally dressed (shirt, tie, and trousers), how much of a clown do you think you’d look like outside? One foot in shoe and sock, ready to boss the outside world; the other in bathroom slippers.
I’m pleading with you all, for the sake of posterity, let’s desist from this behaviour.
I purposely omitted the “shoe shoe” phenomenon i.e. the no socks catastrophe. That’s because I believe WHO declared it extinct in the 20th century, along with Small Pox.
There are a lot of other trivial situations to dissect, and I will be doing that in the future. This piece might have bored some of you and for that, I do not apologize.
Nice👏👏👏