DEAR MR HALL CHAIRMAN

Dear Mr Hall Chairman,

Congratulations on your election! I mean, from your beautiful posters to your crisp bowties and fatherly mien in your videos, you have given us all hope for a new dawn and departure
from politics as usual in ABH! I also noticed that you have not been smiling as usual when you are walking around the hall. Hope thoughts of the work is not yet getting to you sha. Pele!

There are some very important things that I thought you should be aware of and start brainstorming with your team as you resume into office. That is why I said I should write this letter to you before I forget them:

A. SECURITY

My God! FJ, ABH is porous! Too porous! Considering the fact that an average healthcare professional student has either a laptop or tablet (or at the least, a phone) and is also not indoors at least 8 hours a day (extending to 20 hours, especially if you are in Neurosurgery), I believe ABH needs be more secured. Stories abound from last tenure about people (from YEMETU loun loun) being accosted for entering into rooms, and those are the ones we know sef. What of people that enter here and even steal clothes from the line? Let us not even talk of the mentally disabled people that enter here at will, stay for long hours and even enter blocks
(especially that woman, you know the woman I am talking about na; the one that is always with bags).

An added note is renting our FCR to just anyone to use. That means a thief can literally walk out of FCR, up the stairs, steal, and return back to his programme!

Dear Sir, things have to get better o!

B. SANITATION

Hall Chair, have you ever been to the back of G block, the part sharing a fence with the mosque? Everywhere, dirty water! People living in the BQ at the back are almost on an island sef! It is actually amazing that with all the knowledge in our heads, students in the healthcare sector can actually live in such choleraic and dysentery-enabling conditions! If not for anything, for the mosquito and malaria that it would bring, please have mercy, sir. Reports have it that this water comes from Prestige and T & K. If this is true, this leads to my next point….

There are too many flies in the cafeteria! My God, they are almost becoming a pandemic! In the coolers, on the tables, in the plates, on the fan, IN THE FOOD! No need to even overflog the health hazard this poses. And if that dirty water is actually coming from Prestige and her
counterpart, then we cannot trust their food either. (And please, tell those girls serving food to at least stop talking while they are serving my food if their mouths are not fully covered. I cannot be eating flies AND saliva.)

C. HIV (Okay, that was a hyperbole to catch your attention, I meant BLOOD-BORNE INFECTIONS)

– We are in a hospital,
– We are studying either MBBS, BDS, Physiotherapy, MLS,
– We wear gloves and carry out all other standard precautions when handling possible infection plugs.

Then we come back and cut our hair with barbers that do not sterilise their clippers adequately.

LEEMAUU.
But really, is it not ironic? After dodging all the infections all day long, then we come back home to sit down and collect them on our head. Sir, no sterilisation, no shop for them o…

Ejor, e epp wa, sir. You are the mover and shaker of this hall, the Unsullied, The Transcender of Limits; There is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it. At the stroke of your pen
and at the sound of your voice, all these can get better.

Thank you in advance. All the best!

Racheal Idowu,

The 11th Executive,
Speaker of Truth,
Offender of People