LET’S BE LADIES: Part 2 – The dating lady…
– By Oluwatosin Giwa
Acting like a lady is carrying yourself with dignity, which also empowers a man to be a gentleman. Many of us want a true gentleman, but I believe we hold the power to the way we are treated in our hands. It’s the law of attraction and common sense: If you want a gentleman, you must be and act like a lady.
Like I said in the first part of this article, you don’t have to come from wealth or be wealthy in order to conduct yourself like royalty. And as a rule of thumb, all dates are important. There is no such thing as an ordinary date. Here are highlights of how a classy date should go, for a lady:
- Time frame: no one gets to call you on a whim to hang out. Your time is precious and valuable and you are clearly booked, days in advance. Someone who honors your time will plan ahead and ask to take you out with at least a 48 hour request.
- Don’t call him, he’ll call you: A lady knows that she deserves to be pursued and does not do so. If you are in the position that you always have to initiate contact in order to communicate, then you should know that you are not dealing with a gentleman and can move on. You are not playing “Miss Hard-to-get”, you are merely inquiring the respectable position, you deserve.
- You don’t meet a guy anywhere. He comes and picks you up, especially on the first date. It can be inconvenient, but is it your job to make dating you convenient? No. The last thing you want to be is convenient. However, if you are meeting someone in person for the first time, meeting in a neutral location is a smart, safe move. Always honor your intuition.
- Reciprocate his gestures: If a man knows that it is etiquette to remain standing until you are seated, be sure to sit promptly as to not leave him standing too long.
- How to order: Have respect for your gentleman and do not behave with entitlement by ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. If he wants to treat you to a fine bottle of wine, he can order it or offer for you to make a selection.
- Be a good listener and conversationalist: Put your phone away and be present. A lady is not boring, rude or dismissive.
- Be prepared. If you are going out with a gentleman, he will cover your date. However, you should always be prepared to pay if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this on “GoodGuySwag.com says,
“An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman always picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations.”
- Appreciation: Being a lady and acting lady-like does not mean that you are entitled or snobby. Practice having a heart of gratitude and always say thank you for specific actions or generosities.
- Curfew: Mama always said nothing good happens past 10 o’ clock and she’s pretty much right. So set the time you need to be home in advance and let your gentleman know about it ahead of time.