A PIECE OF ADVICE FOR EVERY ÌSÀLẸ̀-ÈKÓ DRACULA

Regardless of the native town of the witchcraft that is pushing you; be it Edo or Camelot, there are some acts that should still be off-limits, and drinking raw eggs is one of them. Don’t ask me why with that face. How did people even come up with such a practice as eating raw eggs? Is it because of the hike in the price of cooking gas or do people simply consider it a waste of time to boil an egg?

This might come off as a rant but hear me out first. If everything were to be balanced in this obodo world, this topic should have been unheard of but well, woke people are not ready to sleep yet. People that drink raw eggs seem to forget they are literally drinking some people’s developing babies. Even if the chickens are not capable of their own EndSARS protest just yet, don’t you think you should at least treat their eggs with some respect? But no, you will like to unleash the beast in you by cracking the shell open, dipping your fangs in it, and sucking up the content into your mouth like Ogbono soup.

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It is hard to say what could have led this set of people into this act. Some say their choirmaster prescribed it as a voice tonic to make them sing the tonic sol-fa like Celine Dion. Well, it is what it is – lies. There is a whole section on Quora debunking such nonsense. Of course, the familiar spirit in you will be quick to retort “It’s people like me that contribute in Quora forums”. Don’t worry, I came prepared for you. Just read on.

Did you know eating raw eggs can get you hooked with Salmonella? No, read that again. It is not Bro Sam from your church fellowship we are talking about here but a bacterial infection that can give you abdominal cramps. Meanwhile, if you are a woman, chances are menstrual cramps are giving you a run for your money already. Now add this to the mix. You will agree that it won’t make for a good cocktail.

Before the guys start thinking it is a women’s thing, Salmonella infection also causes diarrhoea. May the forces be with you when you take diarrhoea-causing raw eggs the day that girl comes over. You know, that same girl that has spent the last 3 weeks shuttling you between the talking stage and friendzone. If you stay in ABH, only God can save you, as before you rush to the toilet, you would first have to go fetch water from Ayodele Falase Postgraduate Hall like fifteen times. Now, before you go “oh, this guy is capping” check the website of Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it is written in bold.

Another interesting thing is, other than proving that you are an Ìsàlẹ̀-Èkó Dracula, drinking raw eggs will only give you less protein than you can get. Most people that take raw eggs do so from this point of nutritional superiority; they like to think they are the woke gods of nutrition, but it has been shown that eating a cooked or fried egg helps break down the proteins into forms that your body can easily absorb.

When you eat cooked eggs, your body can use 90% of the protein in them but when it is raw, your body can only use 51% of the proteins. If you are finding it hard to picture, remember that one time as a kid you ate maize and you found whole seeds you did not chew in your poop? Exactly! Same energy but different processes. Your body is not an industrial food processor; it needs some help in digesting what you eat. Can you see that it is not your village people that have been stopping those eggs from working in your body?

Before I go, let me introduce you to two words because you may have never heard about them before. They are avidin and biotin. Trust me, if my Biochemistry lecturer hadn’t mentioned it, I didn’t know them from Adam either. Now, it might be hard to explain what they are to you if you haven’t studied Biochemistry but let us get one fact straight: they have nothing to do with Aladdin. They are both vitamins that can be found in eggs; biotin is also known as vitamin B7 which is good for the body but avidin is simply a pain in the toe.

Anytime your body wants to absorb biotin, avidin the bully puts its leg on the way to block it. Now, remember they are both found in raw eggs but one good thing is avidin gets destroyed by heat while biotin does not. Therefore, when you cook your eggs, you create room for biotin to get absorbed freely but when you don’t cook them, you simply empower avidin the bully.

If you need more reasons to never indulge in this Dracula way, they abound on Obasanjo’s internet. Now, I know this will not be a walk in the park – Dracula will always tend to draculate regardless of geolocation. Mine is however to open the door that leads to the light of facts. To follow it, is all up to you.